Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?
Why do I love you? I think and smile,
because I know the list could run on for miles.
The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,
so many little things that make me love you so much.
The way you support me, and help with my emotions,
the way that you care and show such devotion.
The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,
and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me,
lost with you forever is where I want to be.
The way that I feel when you're by my side,
a sense of completion and overflowing pride.
The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,
the possibilities I see and the things we can do.
How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,
how that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,
but all you really must know is my love for you is real
-angela*
seventeen
260888
emotional
indecisive
stubborn
alwaes daedreamin
and i love my hubby jason!
Devil vs Angel *
Thursday, April 28, 2005
11:17:00 am
feeling so pissed this morning.woke up by a stupid call.stupid ST.argue to tt guy for 15 min den end up fone being snatched by chandra.saying wat she dun care they nit staff on sun den slam da fone.grr...i noe im being heartless or selfish or wat.go ahead..take a gun and shoot me down.argh...bad morning.nice weather to slp.nit to wake up early to meet frenz for lunch.woke up by a stupid call.stomach pain.blocked nose and slight flu.irritating!!!i nv go back to my air con rm slp le still like tt.sundae seems like a bad dae.mummy.bro and maid go duno where for 2 days 1 nite.mummy seems so excited abt it.hope she enjoys herself.she wanna borrow my lip smooth.sweater and fone...no sweater and no fone.sniff..bad morning..hope da rest of da dae turns out well..
Devil vs Angel *
lately things wasnt so bad.went wit jas.lena.cher on mon.we went to eat buffet in cine.had a great time catching up on each other.went far east to take neoprints.quite fun and nice.hehe.
yesterdae tok to dear on da fone frm 10 plus to 5 plus.whoa..7 hrs.nice chat.was feeling quite bad and pissed.anywae he is there to the rescue.lolx.work in PSA yesterdae.so slack.went starbucks twice to slack b4 anf aft function.took some pic of da port and scenery using my fone.we work at 40 flr ma.so high and nice.this kind of OC is fun.took a grp pic too.heard tt this coming thurs OC nt nice to do.weather so freaking hot and we are suppose to go istana to set up and serve.hope everything turn out well
todae went out wit aquilah.hang out in town.watched guess who.not bad.funnie.sweet.racist..took neoprints too.bought sth too.wonder worth it nt.im being approached by tt guy again wen he juz tok to me yesterdae.he muz be so embarrassed.okie.heck..none of my business.nt interested in tt kind of line.met MI fren in PS aft movie.nice time hanging out wit dem.tok nonsense and craps.gt 2 guys love story so poor thing.aiyo.din noe such things exist.wonder hw the guy can stand it.they gt their business mgnt test tmr.all da best to dem.dey gt a number of tests le.sigh.miss sch bt juz no hw for me.i dun mind staying until poly starts.they gt their small project coming up this sat at tanglin mall.some small 2nd hand fair thingy.muz go ther support dem.they keep da profit.so fun.and this sat go kboxin wit serene.xj.jul.ps.haha.we gonna be mad women again.wahahahahahaha.
time to hit da bed!!woohoo...
Devil vs Angel *
Sunday, April 24, 2005
9:31:00 pm
fridae's function juz anoda vip event.to me is nth important or special.juz like wed.life as usual.meeting elena,jas and cher on mon.*excited* cant wait to get together as 4 aft million thousand days.
i wonder how poly life will be? am i regretting anything abt leaving MI.anyway i submit all my forms and doing all neccessary things.now juz have to work towards it.fear tt i will turn bad in poly or watever.im nt da gal i seems to be.i find it hard to be normal or even myself.i find myself having many expectations.and i expect alot frm myself and others.isnt it unfair to others?
aft my dinner,wat my mum comments leave me in deep tots.am i reali doing tt? am i da girl in da past? have i changed? who and wat am i now? over da past few yrs, am i putting a mask in front of me?trying to be someone? jealous or envious of others? im so fortunate.bt why i expect more and everything.greedy angela! i put bad past behind.bringing onli memories wit me.juz some wonderful pages in my book of life.bt da main character isnt da same.it changes its role often.how often i tot of wat if i can turn back da time and redo somethings.i wouldnt have wat i have and be now.everything is so different.life wun be da same.everything happen for a reason.bt where's my reason.why am i behaving like this.im like writing rubbish and my head juz keep spinning wit lots of tots tt i dun understand.i juz feel like breaking dwn.i aint strong at all.im real weak inside.i appear to be understanding and noe things.and i think too highly of myself.im juz a bad plain angela.im nt trying to gain any sympathy or act weak for ppl to pity me.im juz writing nonsense.im sick of life and being perfect.why i so irresponsible at times.having big dreams bt nt turning dem to goals and real things.i feel da world so fake.nothing is true.
okie.i better stop thinking if nt all my hair turns white le.i have better things to worry and work towards it.no use changing back bt work towards the better=)
Devil vs Angel *
Thursday, April 21, 2005
2:19:00 pm
i been rotting and slacking at home.yesterdae finally went back to work.some things changed.so embarrassing.wen i step in to change my ic.the door couldnt open.the stupid security keep saying wat ask me dun mind calling me sweetheart and has to inform dem wen i sign in and out.i was out of my hse quite early and i reached there nearly on da dot.not much time to change lucky put my make up at home le.
'first' dae went back was quite an experience for me.is a vip event.some world gourmet summit thingy.they even hav differnt yr and brand of white wine to each different course.yesterdae gt food server.wine server and runner.we all have to act proffessional.i hav to noe a few table manners.lucky wen young my mummy taught me some.have to serve ladies first.and everything frm da right.we have to serve one by one and place a food wit a specific direction according to the decoration on da food and worst of all table by table.imagine all servers attack one table.everyting have to reset aft fourth course.the F and B director was there too.gt one interesting dish is where the prawns are cook in different wae and the chinese character of prawn was written wit the sauce.everything went well and grand.the manager observe some mistake.oh ya.have to serve clockwise direction.and even plain water all use bottle de.still water or sparkling water.and guess wat?? by the end of da dae.the manager said juz treat it as a rehearsal the main and biggest event is on fri wit 20 tables.10 pax and one table wit 12 pax.more stress den yesterdae wit 7 tables wit mixture of 7 to 9 pax and some din turn up.heard tt we may nit to wear white gloves too.the deco and table setting is magnificent too.the grapes and vines is spread in da centre.the grapes are big,sweet and seedless.sadly have to return.we took some to munch.bring a small bunch home.hehe.better hope i wun be wine server tmr.
i wonder why so many ppl like to treat love as a game.heard alot of problems and conflicts ard me.the worst of all is triangle love.all sorts of tots will creep into my mind.bt most importantly trust and communication is there.and be honest.yes.love cant be force and it can be selfish or selfless.anything can happen.therfore our feelings cannot be control.if u reali no choice and fallen for someone while u in a relationship.the best is to tell ya partner.dun keep him/her in da dark.it hurts dem more.of cuz da best is love each other as long as possible.bt does love at our age last.in marriage,it doesnt last a life time too.sure there's a period of time where ppl go astray or fool ard or feeling is nt there.some put career first.nt all ppl can tolerate all this.tt's wen we nit to adapt and be more understanding.and most important thing is commitment.tt's wat makes a marriage last.wat abt relationship? there is commitment too.bt nt to da extend tt hav to stay wit each other even ya hrt is nt there.some ppl sae u cant hold 2 person in one hrt.bt for me i believe some do.bt it depends on where u place the person.some ppl flirts and fools ard bt their hrt still wit their partner.the partner muz have a big and generous hrt.some is has a little crush on anoda person bt dunwan to break.wat cannot let go or se bu de li kai.familiar? is this wat u reali wan? leading anoda person on and hurting ya partner in silence.imagine one dae someone do tt to u.wat will u feel? if u reali loves someone u wun do tt.if it is because of the length of time ur been together it even worse.yes.its hard to let someone go aft ure been thru so much.bt leaving the person on a one sided love road brings more problems and pain.aiya.this kind of thing hard to comprehend and understand.im juz rattling nonsense.it starts wit a crush den wit like and love.bt slowly it isnt all abt love bt others too.u learn things in a relationship.develop different characters and everything can be appiled to ya daily life and ppl ard u.
okie.enuff of all those nonsense.thinking of writting abt depression bt guess i gt nt much tings to write and i gt no time.nit to leave in half hour time and i still haven bathe and prepare my things.okie.time to go.tata!!
Devil vs Angel *
Sunday, April 17, 2005
9:12:00 pm
ysterdae been my happiest dae.i couldnt stop smiling till slp.did had a wonderful dae/nite.some things were cleared and more understanding.details are in my heart.i nv tot i could hear those words so soon.i consider myself very fortunate wit wonderful frenz,family and bf.now my job is to change into a much better person.take note of all my bad habits and characters tt affect others and myself.and i muz be more matured.too kiddy le.life couldnt be complete without you.it wun be so colourful wit ups and downs.tmr is zhong shen's birthdae and i dun think i can go.sad.some things have to push aside.i cant have everything.i can if i wan bt does it do any good to others.i muz learn hw to put myself in other's shoes and do wat im expected even i dun like.tt is part of life =)
Devil vs Angel *
Friday, April 15, 2005
1:35:00 am
todae went to eat buffet at some sushi restaurant in ceni.aiya.forget the name lor.so full.cher and wanting called me up in da afternoon and suddenly asked wan to go and eat.walk walk den go home le.mum was abit pissed wit me for keep going out.bt she is angry wit sis.my dad too.and my dad dun angry for nothing serious.guess wat? my sis bill shoot up to 156 bucks.tt is like..??first month was 90 plus.2nd month 102 bucks and now...cant stand her.chat always use hp.she noe she exceeds le still use.like free de.anywae parents was okie at nite le
im like so stuck.no names gonna be mention.bt compared to dem.mine is like ten times better.im like communicating wit 3 of dem.and problems lies wit trust and being honest.i feel so terrible and guilty for hiding bt at da same time fear of saying wrong things.sometimes i juz feel like saying things out and put everything back.bt somehow i juz shldnt be there.i dunwan to be the cause of anything.
now 1 plus le still online.toking to bao heng online.gentleman.he noes wat is right and wrong.poor thing.have to stay in MI.hope he can get a place in poly so no needa suffer.he like some advisor to the gals.hope all of us will keep in contact.he reminds me of someone.gal-fren kind.okie.enuff nonsense.if nt a bump on my head.and im missing my dar.muz be snoring awae..ZZz
Devil vs Angel *
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
9:45:00 pm
decided to blog aft million seconds and minutes..now all i do is rot and slack while i can.dun feel like going back to sheraton to work.i put my braces last month.starting quite uncomfortable.now everything better le though still having ulcers.i appeal into MI.stayed there for one week.sad.withdraw recently.going to tp for telecommunication.hmm.wonder how issit like? been in MI for few days onli and i miss dem lots.met a new fren-aquila.hang out wit her everydae except my last.and guess wat.she gt into the same course as me.yeah!! of cuz i physco her to go poly la.bt i still miss esther,agnes and bao heng.sniff.sniff.nvm.we can meet up wen we are free.
okie.now time to tok abt personal tots.life been so-so for me.things din reali go as smoothly as it suppose to be.there's alot of misunderstanding,tots and problems tt is uncalled for.worst thing happen is i duno wat to do and wat's reali going on.todae den i noe at least something.i duno how long will it last.for i noe it will nv end.im uncertain of any problems tt is coming bt i hope we can passs thru this and get stronger.we each gt alot of other problems to handle and neither each of us wanna add on to each other burden.now my mind is blank and empty.my words seems meaningless and makes no sense at all.
i miss him.i miss MI.i miss gm.i miss dance.most of all i miss all my frenz.wonder how tp will be.will i change? how will i behave? many questions forming.