Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?
Why do I love you? I think and smile,
because I know the list could run on for miles.
The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,
so many little things that make me love you so much.
The way you support me, and help with my emotions,
the way that you care and show such devotion.
The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,
and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me,
lost with you forever is where I want to be.
The way that I feel when you're by my side,
a sense of completion and overflowing pride.
The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,
the possibilities I see and the things we can do.
How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,
how that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,
but all you really must know is my love for you is real
-angela*
seventeen
260888
emotional
indecisive
stubborn
alwaes daedreamin
and i love my hubby jason!
Devil vs Angel *
Monday, November 29, 2004
2:51:00 pm
at last leaving all this hell years of fun.joy and PAIN..4 years of education have finally ended.i noe abit too late to say everything now.is like few days ago but im busy.everyday reach home at 1 plus.im going to break down soon.days went by just like tt with no meaning..all my dreams and hopes are shattered.later work again.yesterdae first dae serving alone.quite nervous.everything went well.they are nice ppl so they understand.i miss all my frenz.i keep thinking the ppl there look alike like all my frenz.i miss dem LOTS..cant wait to hang out and rot the dae off.i did gone thru alot during the 4 years.i haven grown.with all da frenz ard me.each of us went thru a certain part of our life wit uncertainty.insecure and trying to find out who we actually are.is time to move on to anoda part of our life.and once again.grow.i regret not treasuring all my times and ppl.time sure did fly fast.next min i mayb lying in the coffin.ppl weeping for me.ermz..dun think got.all so happy.hmm.the cover outside my body will forever plaster down there.i duno wat i want.cuz i noe i cant get wat i want.working towards it results in more pain and misery.okie.enuff of all this..take care ppl.must enjoy and be healthy too.
Devil vs Angel *
Monday, November 22, 2004
10:14:00 pm
lots of things to blog todae.but feeling so lazy..and i nit a good nite slp..haha.went for interview todae and i can start working tmr.wow.11 hours tmr.wonder can i tahan..wahaha.scare i make mistake while doing my job.scary.like sch like tt.nit to do so many things.cut nails and must tie bun.hehe.watched the incredibles todae.so nice.starting was kinda bored and draggy.ending so nice..haha.i laugh so much.i love da whole family...most of my frenz love jack jack..dash better.haha.okie.enuff of this.time to get some beauty slp.and tok abt my last dae in sch.no more prefect chalet for me.mayb going for pec ROD onli.hmm..hope i can learn sth new each dae..yea yea..=]
Devil vs Angel *
Saturday, November 20, 2004
11:51:00 pm
went to steph house todae.me and cher like pig.talk and slp on her bed den went church.ate proper dinner.reached home late.mummy hang out wit frenz.ate kit kat white chocolate.not bad.hehe.
gonna find a job.nit to pay so many things myself.i onli ask you for some advice.haven finish.the first ans is dunwan la.u earn some money can.wat.always ask me work wat always rot at home.since sec 2? other kids work is their business.they are others.not me.im not saying im not working.but is like..sigh.forget it.i noe ur work so hard.pay this pay tt.so many insurance.idiot ppl la.bully ur.sigh.i wonder why ur so kind.u can make ya stand and stop signing anymore cheques for dem.im in da wrong too.bad angela.din do my part properly.u sacrifice so much.provide the best.showing good examples etc.sigh.think i better stop thinking abt this.duno wat is good and bad for me le.
yes.u changed.i tried so many times to tok to ya.wen did u ever understand.u can say im nagging or wat.im not there to nag or scold ya or wat.i just wan ya to be a good person.i just dun understand why u changed since pri sch.sigh.mayb i shldnt care.but i love you.i wan u to be good.sigh.
enuff of all those stuff.making me seems like i always sad or think of all this.i wan to be happy angela.dad got free M card from M1..inside got 5 bucks..he gave it to me.think da call is cheaper den my own number.but sadly to say.no extra fone.i wanna change line.discuss wit dem aft o's.still have to pay so many things myself.stupid braces.wonder why i nit it for.i dun even care whether nice or not.stupid wisdom tooth.okie.cant slp.everyday slp so late.last nite read story book until nearly 3.finished le.nice.kept having terrible headache.
Devil vs Angel *
Friday, November 19, 2004
10:20:00 pm
yea!! TAGBOARD is back..hehe.ermz..lazy blog.next time ba..lazy think.one more paper to go.miss jess and lein.cant wait to meet up.mon go kayaking.tanning time.=p dad bought ice cream.time to get fat
i dun feel good telling you all this.im sorry.think im just out of my mind for the time being.i badly nit someone to hug me and tell me everything will be fine.im creating all my problems.i can choose to run away and nv turn back.
Devil vs Angel *
think todae paper easier den paper one.but dun think i can score.my A is gone.pray hard tt i can at least get a B..sigh..so bored.gonna slack and start sci tmr.
hmm.nth to blog.forget wat i wan to type.tired of everything.sigh.i nit to pay for my own braces le.duno nit to do for wat.just leave it there and rot.wahaha..and a old woman sitting at one corner looking out of da windown stoning.okie.tt is so pathetic.gonna stuff myself wit choco again..yum yum..
dreamt of sth weird last nite again=]
Devil vs Angel *
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
1:43:00 pm
geo is ok todae
choose 1.3.6
did development cuz da rest not sure
suddenly forget how to calculate GNP
eyes so dry and pain
nit more slp
lazy type whole sentence
tonite nit to do more maths
tmr a maths mon sci paper one
and IM FREE frm o's
but i dun mind take again but not next year
think i din put in much effort
gonna do well for a maths and sci
must chiong all da wae
stop slacking
Devil vs Angel *
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
10:06:00 pm
din reali study geo.slp frm 2.30 to 6 plus.wanna slp more.onli get to slp one and a half hour slp in da night.dun think my art gonna be good.so simple.no background colour.nv bring container.so stupid.watched da champion.nice.onli time i can watched one hour.wonder wat shld i do aft o's.think not much difference for me.slack.nit to find some work.den buy my own fone.mummy ask me pay myself.sniff.i wanna thank eng tong,jessica and gerald for staying up wit me to 3-4 plus.wow.they so good rite.try to keep me awake and motivate me.nearly give up and pull down by parents but they pull me up.okie.nit to study le..enuff slp todae.time to hit da books and bed.so many birthdaes coming up.nit to go on a shopping spree le.
Devil vs Angel *
Monday, November 15, 2004
6:41:00 pm
why i always like tt.im lost once again.wat got into me.many tots in my head.i tot i found my way out.no i din.i still stuck.have i let go everything? the shattering of all da pieces can be felt again.da aching and stuffs.never ever gonna fall into any trap.u will nv ever come out.unless u dig thru to anoda trap..craps.my drawing sux.i cant even draw a little boi properly.
Devil vs Angel *
find so many pics for art.sigh.so lazy do and my drawing so ugly.new template but dun think is nice.next time den change or wat.nit to complete art by todae.yesterday nearly explode.ate alot.order alot of pizzas and kfc.still got leftover.den grandpa bought alot of fruits and CHOCOLATES..hehe.gonna be a piggy soon.i can eat all day and turn fat.okie.back to my art.
Devil vs Angel *
Saturday, November 13, 2004
1:53:00 pm
went to sch wit mummy to help my sis collect results in home clothes.all teachers tot im suddenly become sec 2.wahaha.so funnie.how i wish i can be sec 2 again.nit to pack my whole study room.relatives coming tmr.tmr got tuition at 3.wonder issit 2 or 3 hours.sigh.ask mummy whether i can go chruch.she said wat dunwan den dad will not be happy.sigh.mayb i have to wait.pack le den out again.
Devil vs Angel *
Friday, November 12, 2004
11:27:00 pm
my whole body just so uncomfortable.im putting tt away.i had finally decided wat to do for my art aft 3 to 4 changes.hope it works.
yes.i noe im in da wrong.but why cant you just let me have some time to do this and that.okie.everything is my fault.happy? i always look up to you but sometimes i jut dun understand why u must behave like this.all i noe is for all of us.here i am doing my stuff.i admit tt i slack alittle.but i din ur so called walk up and down like i dun care.i did study.if u wish to have da room back just say it.
i hate o's.and i dun wish to retake or wat.i wan it to quickly end.i dunwan da past le.putting everything behind and just live the way i shld.went to esplanade todae.the roof access change le.brings back some memories.nice garden up there.they even change some tiles or wat.
im feeling so frustrated.like im been alone. is my choice.i choose not to share or wat.okie.time to slp.tmr still nit to help sis collect results.now she enjoying herself in some camp tt we are not allowed to go.
you came to talk to me abt ya characters and ask me understand and ask me to do wat is right.see.all along i know you are a good mother.sigh.im just being a bad person.okie.mayb i should change.thinking and saying alone is no use.must show more in actions.time to do some self reflection and do QT..
Devil vs Angel *
Thursday, November 11, 2004
2:32:00 pm
had a dumb dream last nite.so dumb.nth to do.printer got problem.hope later can print.playing wit the equalizer.wan da best effect.me so stupid.duno where to move.keep moving up and down.
just as i tot.slack the dae off.woke up slack den steph called me.end up meeting cher and her in the library.fetched my bro to sch.how i wish im a little kid again.so innocent.all they do is play and play and know the things they should noe.no problems no nothing.i miss my childhood.suppose to do art and study geo in da library.end up reading snoopy comics..quite funnie.we borrowed 5 bks and split among ourselves.quite lame too.ate sth before heading home.todae quite boring.think im doing some music stuff for my art.wonder how i display the music means alot to da musicians.okie.thinking of going to esplanade for books on it.been very tired lately.mind always blank.they shouldnt give us such a long long break.few days in btw papers is alright.lost the study mood.i wonder wat if i dun do well for my o's.i regret for not doing my best and start early.i guess im not meant to have u.mayb i shldnt pester u le.i duno wat ya thinking.i just let myself wonder around in my tots.
Devil vs Angel *
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
8:32:00 pm
todae chem wasnt ok for me.mayb the most mere pass.din study a little bit yestedae.reach home slack.open da book den zzzz..lucky i study chem early.the onli sub tt i got practice and study.okie.but its kinda bad for not studying.went mac for breakfast todae.yea.at last eat one whole meal.crap alot.so stupid.went library.borrowed two books and chat in da library.the librarian asked us to return da books if we dunwan twice.went bugis.sort of da onli place tt accessible to all of us.shop for an hour.saw a nice pencil case.hehe.watched princess dairies two.very nice and funnie.i laughed most of da time.think im not gonna see doc le.mayb better.thinking of visiting one yesterdae but closed.think now better le.can eat my meal without vomiting.try to eat rice during dinner.just got tt urge.but maid nv cook my share.cus i nv eat rice during dinner for like 1 or 2 month plus.wonder why im like..not as if im dieting.weird.juz dun like my body.later gastric flu.headache.stomachache or breathing difficulty.sigh.duno how to take care of myself.okie.time to do some research on my art.. oh boi.im freezing
Devil vs Angel *
Sunday, November 07, 2004
12:42:00 am
todae went church again.but different de..duno stick wit which one.do a little maths..morning chem tuition.so happi..mummy's boss raise her salary.hehe.todae din eat much.nearly vomit again.but haha, got eat my dinner.shld i go see doc not.got 'personal doctor' to check out everything le.wahaha..slack alot le.tmr nit to put my little head into my books le.one week break nit to do my art.haven sart research.okie..time to orh orh le.tmr can wake up late.yipee..
Devil vs Angel *
Thursday, November 04, 2004
11:12:00 pm
went changi airport to study.someone taught me a maths.hope i can do well.dad spend money on tuition.todae e maths quite easy.hope can ace it.da rest mayb juz crawl thru da paper.lit students.ur have done well.dun think abt da papers.time to rest and do ur best for da rest.